We expect family to be loving & kind and it’s really hard when that’s not true. At least that is how we might see it. Sometimes people don’t realize what they are saying because they live in the same fat phobic, body shaming world that we do. They also may not realize you are learning body acceptance and fighting back against a world that judges by body size.
Family usually goes hand in hand with the winter holidays. Thanksgiving was especially tough this year. 2 of my family members made fat phobic comments that were directed at me. And it lit my inner fire of rebellion. Not at first. At first I was shocked. Then I was hurt. Then I was mad. How dare anyone make a comment on my body size! It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t even be a point of topic.
The first comment came from a place of “the male gaze” on how women “should” look 🙄. The second comment came from a place of concern and projection of their own body shame 🙁. I tried to understand why these comments were made and why people thought they were ok to say. Then I realized, it’s just insanity and lack of acceptance.
I have heard that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. Some people expect that if they keep body shaming then we will submit to their expectations & desires. That we will fit into whatever box they feel is appropriate. They haven’t accepted yet that the world is changing and people are realizing their true value. My body does not define me. My heart & my mind do.
A body does not define you. Your value lies in your actions and thoughts. Thoughts create emotion and emotion drives our actions. Our bodies are a vessel to help us move through the world. Your body can be any shape, size or color, it’s still just a body. We all eat, breath, move, love, cry, bleed and exist for a reason. No one is better or worse based just on their body. And it is insane to think as such.
It’s hard to learn body acceptance & kindness. Especially in a world where half the people are holding onto old beliefs and shitty values. I hope we all learn to stand tall and proud. Your mind is capable of incredible things. Your heart will guide you in the right direction. You know that saying “Be the change you want to see in the world” (unknown). This is a perfect example. The more you learn you love and accept yourself, the less insane thinkers will bother you. Why? You’ll start to see their views as insane and past thinking. You are a product of a better future.
There is enough space for all of us in this world. Let the world see how brilliant and beautiful you are. Love and allow yourself to be loved. Together we will make the world a kinder more accepting space. One body at a time 💗.